The one in which I tell you all the terrible ways that your loan/loan application/deal can implode?

Well it was true.

And it is accurate.

But it was not very, how can I put this?   It was not very “PROACTIVE”.

Helpful would be a better word.

So I want to be helpful.

And you can therefore download a free copy of my newest, latest, greatest Special Report right HERE. 

And it will proactively, and helpfully tell you what you can do to AVOID having your deal/loan/closing implode.

Because I always try to be helpful!

It’s what I do.

But . . . this call was from a far away state.   Let’s call it Oregon.

This was a guy who bought his first “house”.

On the internet.

Without visiting Northwest Ohio.

Without “putting any eyes” on the property before sending his money.

“UFF DA”* as my Scandanavian grandmother would say.

*(when my brother and I were REALLY naughty and she was watching us while my parents were out gambling or worse she would say “UFF DA FEE DA” . . . which was the warning right before the “wooden spoon” came out of the kitchen drawer . . . but I digress.)

So I put some eyes on the house.

I already knew that the plumbing, siding, furnace and more would be gone.  (It was a $4000 auction buy in Toledo).

But in this case . . . . the entire house was gone.  

Which is actually good news for my putative client since then the City of Toledo won’t dun him for tearing the house down (oh, say $9000 . . . )

So . . . what lessons should the wise real estate buyer learn from my little story and how does it relate to Perrysburg?

1. Never, ever buy real property without a property visit.   Ever.  All the time.  Never.

2. A great deal is often . . . not a great deal.  

3. It is very hard to make great returns on a $5000 house when you live one or two time zones away.

4. It is often much safer to spend MORE money and to buy a house/duplex/condo in an area with less crime and vandalism.

5. The seductive rent returns (“I can rent that $5000 house out for $500 a month!) are not real.  They don’t really happen all the time.

6. The investors that I work with who buy $5000 houses have lots of them – to defray their staff and crews and sophisticated management and tenant service operations.   They have a little bit more invested than one house can support.

7. I think that a $50,000 or $75,000 buy in Perrysburg or Maumee is much, much safer.   If I own that (and my wife and I do . . . ) we can rent it, manage it, take care of it without fear of destruction, and have the amenities and schools pull our tenants in.

8. It is very strange . . . but in real estate right now it seems that the simplest investments (see above) and the most sophisticated and complex real estate investments (read this WSJ story and weep . . . ) are absolutely fraught with risk and danger for “average” investors.

I like to buy local.

You want some real estate?  Want to buy in this greatest of all investment markets?   Buy local and buy what you can see and touch.   And if you need professional help . . . you know who to call.

Please just call me before you buy!

Some are bad.

Some are sad . . . usually a dead cat or dog!

Some are glad.

Today in a house in Toledo that is closing tomorrow I opened up the old, abandoned wood record player, FM stereo, and television console . . . which weighs about 400 pounds . . . and is now totally n0n functional and destined for the street.

And what did I find?

These memories of cable tv in Toledo from 41 and 31 years ago.  (I can always tell when an owner has lived through the Great Depression of the 1930′s like the owner of this house did – they tend to save EVERYTHING.

If I would tell my kids that at one time there were 12 cable channels – that is it – and you had to get up out of the chair to change the channel – they would not believe me.

There have been a few lists on line of other things that young people today have never known . . . like this one.

About March 2011 City of Toledo numbers.

And their rather precipitous drop.  *(Which I have written on/predicted/sang like a canary in a coal mine about)*

They say:

It’s a strong word.

“It shall be done”.

“Do this”.

Or how about “promise”.

Also a strong word.

In the world of short sales . . . . I don’t think you can either or honestly issue many guarantees or promises or commands – not unless you are the mortgage holder.

They hold the note.

They loaned the money.

They have the gold and they make the rules.

The signs that proclaim “I Buy Houses!” are usually come ons for a bait and switch exercise to list your house or even worse get you to fraudulently convey control of it.

The Federal government has an opinion about this too.

You can read about it here.

I will boil it down for you:  no promises allowed.  No guarantees allowed.  No getting paid up front.

Any Realtor or “real estate investor” who approaches you and wants some money up front to help you with your short sale or foreclosure?  They are breaking FEDERAL LAW.

Any Realtor or “real estate investor” who comes and promises results, or claims some inside track with the lender or the government . . . again, breaking FEDERAL LAW.

The FTC says that paying $$$ up front is totally forbidden -

“The most significant consumer protection under the FTC’s new rule is the advance fee ban. Under this provision, mortgage relief companies may not collect any fees until they have provided consumers with a written offer from their lender or servicer that the consumer decides is acceptable, and a written document from the lender or servicer describing the key changes to the mortgage that would result if the consumer accepts the offer. The companies also must remind consumers of their right to reject the offer without any charge.”

I have not yet seen anyone doing this in Perrysburg.  I have seen this happen in Toledo and Sylvania . . . . with terrible results for those scammed.

Nothing in a short sale is guaranteed – except that it will be hard and difficult, filled with surprises, and the end result holds the potential to get you out of terrible trouble.

I was an intern once for the City of Toledo.   Just like this guy.

And believe me . . . you never want to work in the sausage plant if you go in loving the product.

You are going to have your eyes OPENED.

That links to a great read in today’s Toledo Blade.

About Stephen Leggett.

Just about every homeowner gets tagged with special taxes on their property tax statement: sewer improvements, water improvements, ditch maintenance, mosquito control, on and on and on . . . oh, and often you get a special ding for “street lighting”.

This poor legislative intern did a terrible thing.

He used his mind.

He told the truth.

He stood his ground.

Homeowners who are faithfully and obediently paying ALL their property taxes are not only not getting what they pay for, they are now aware that the public servants paid to be good stewards of the public trust are complicit in a cover up.

How sad.

I wonder if a group of homeowners in Toledo would sue the City of Toledo -  what would happen?

****(I did about 10 seconds of research, since I used to be a research intern – and trust me it is REALLY easy to do research now in the internet age – and guess what I found?  Lots of people sue about special assessments that are unfair or broken or false!)

I wonder if a homeowner whose street had inoperative street lighting refused to pay for their streetlight assessment – or maybe paid 65% of it – what would happen?

It’s probably good they fired him.

It’s easier than listening to him and coming up with a plan to make sure the lights are really on.

3 or 4 days.  In Dallas.

At the 5 Star REO / Foreclosure Conference.

Which is now, in my opinion, the BIGGEST real estate conference in America.

Sad to see that.  We used to, as a trade group, fill up Waikiki or SFO or New Orleans to meet and network about new houses.

Now?  We fill up Dallas to meet about foreclosures.

Theme song?  “I Used to Rule the World” . . .

Dallas? Nice town.  I lived there once.   Great climate . . . except when it snows (which it does) and then the denizens of the Metroplex turn into suicidal automotive kamikazes . . . but I digress.

Heard former First Lady Laura Bush speak.

Former Minnesota Viking Nemesis Roger Staubach speak (it WAS pass interference by the way).

Met with other top producing Realtors from across the country.

To “compare notes”.

And heard from a passel of nervous – in fact, very nervous bankers and Fed guys.

What are they worried about?

I will post on that next.

But a hint  -  it rhymes with “Strategic Default”.

Advice I am giving to sellers that really need to:  make sure you really need to sell.

Advice I am giving to sellers that are sure that they really need to sell: there are too many houses for sale given the buyer activity we have right now – let’s find out how we can work together to sell your house in this environment.

The WSJ has an interesting missive out today - about the glut of houses on the market.

Interesting reading:

“Pending sales, signed contracts on the purchase of new homes tracked by the National Association of Realtors, were down 3% in June compared to May. That month saw a 30% drop in the index, after the April 30 expiration of the home buyer’s tax credit.

The pending sales numbers point to more alarming home sales figures, wrote Credit Suisse analyst Dan Oppenheim in a note Tuesday. Mr. Oppenheim said that given the sales pace, we’re on track to sell 3.7 million homes total this year–-the lowest seasonally adjusted level of single-family existing home sales since the fall of 1996.”

I read elsewhere that a major US builder does not want anymore tax credits or Federal home buyer stimulus.  “Just let the market work” was their plea.

The housing market is tough right now – investors from out of state are buying 100 to 400 houses in a single auction.  You want to compete against that?  In Toledo? “Gird your loins” as they say.

In Perrysburg we are not at that point (and never will be . . . !) but the dynamic pressures just to the north of us still impact this market.   When housing values plummet close by it hurts us.

Great listings are still in demand.

Great buyers are still coming to PBurg.

Enjoy the Glut if you can!

There really was one a couple of weeks ago . . . although I did not feel it.

But there has been an ongoing one . . . for the past 3 or 4 or 5 years.

The “mortgage implosion”.  Which is really the “people who have lost their jobs can’t pay their mortgages implosion”.

Excerpting from today’s Toledo Blade:

Metro area 52nd highest in ’10 foreclosure filings

Metro Toledo ranks 52nd highest in foreclosure-related filings in the first half of the year among the nation’s top 200 metro areas, a new study shows. The ranking, the worst among the metro areas in Ohio, is based on the number of filings of default and auction notices and repossessions per households. RealtyTrac Inc., a national real-estate data tracking firm, says in a report released today the Toledo area has one such filing for every 65 houses.

#52.  Of the top 200 foreclosure towns.

Not.  Good.  At.  All.

You can argue about school funding, TARTA leaving, and the constant I-75/475 construction projects all you want to.

But when 1 out of 65 houses in T Town has JUST GONE UNDER THE GAVEL in 2010 . . . . the other problems are not that important.

My advice?  No need for a Foreclosure Czar.  No need for a conference.  No need for a telethon.

People in Toledo need J.O.B.S.

That is the only thing that is going to bring housing back, equity back, and end the misery and physical destruction of real estate in Northwest Ohio.